6th month failing

It's not a guarantee but a very strong likelihood. I've been put on steroids to drain my ear and it's not something that they give women in the 1st trimester so if I did happen to conceive last week the drugs would probably end the pregnancy. This sucks soooooo much. I was feeling pretty good about our chances. I didn't chart this month and have felt much more relaxed and I thought that we had decent timing without knowing exactly. This coming from nowhere is crazy. I'm so tired of trying. It's gotten to where baby commercials make me cry. I can't watch a tv show or movie where somebody has a baby. I'm cohosting a baby shower this weekend and then going to another one the following weekend. Both of them got pregnant before I started trying and I'm very happy for them. I really hope that I don't get emotional at the parties or afterwards. I don't want another baby shower for the 2nd baby so hopefully that will help but I know that seeing all of the baby clothes will be hard.

I have fallen in love...

with ovulation predictors. They are helping me be much less stressed than I would normally be. I would usually be forcing me and Jay to have sex at least once a day right now even if we weren't in the mood. Since I am getting negative tests I can relax and not put pressure on. That'll be different once I get the positive but it'll be for a shorter time frame.

3 cycles = 3 failures

I'm started my period. Having a period is sooooo much worse when you want to be pregnant. It also sucks because I made the epic mistake of telling a couple of women that I work with that I'm trying and one of them asked me today if I was pregnant yet. It's like salt on the wound. I blame getting sick this past month. So now I'm on to investing more money into this and ordering some cheap internet ovulation predictor kits. We're also going to change the sex position that we've been in when Jay finishes. I realize that might be TMI. Oh well. Maybe this will be the cyle and I"ll find out on Christmas day. That'll be pretty cool.

CD 18 and no ovulation

I'm so irritated with my body right now. I started having a lot of cervical mucus a few days ago and had a temperature dip which indicates that I'm about to ovulate. Jay and I had sex for several days and my temps. went up and I thought that I ovulated. I started eating pineapple core to help with implantation. Well, I was wrong. My temp. had a big drop which means I did not ovulate. So now I'm worried that I ovulated in the last couple of days when Jay and I did not have sex. We're going to start again today and we're just going to have to keep going until Fertility Friend confirms ovulation. I have to stop eating the pineapple because it will make my vagina acidic. Jay said that we should have sex like teenagers. We'll do it several times a day and I'll be scared of getting pregnant and then I'll get pregnant like so many teenage girls do. It's funny but unfortunately that's not how it works. I'm also pissed that my cycle is going to be longer than usual now because I'm ovulating late.

Phantom Symptoms begin

FF has not confirmed my O day but I think that I either ovulated yesterday or Sunday. Either way our timing is good. Today I got nauseaus right before lunch. So of course my first thought is that I might be pregnant. This is completely absurd though since even if I did conceive in the past couple of days my hormones wouldn't be high enough to cause morning sickness. I'm hoping that I will be spared morning sickness and spotting this pregnancy. and heartburn. and water retention. Of course, I don't want constipation or hemorrhoids either. I didn't have the last two the first time and was very glad. I started eating the pineapple core last night. I have 4 more days of that to help with implantation. I'm just ready for an O date to be confirmed so that I'll know my chances and stop worrying about having sex.

sick

I've felt bad the last couple of days. My ear and throat are killing me. I had a fever last night and put it into my chart. Fertility friend then stopped connecting my temperature from yesterday which sucks.

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Cycle 3

Well, it's been a long time since I've posted but oh well. I'm changing the tone of this blog to be a TTC and baby blog. I started cycle 3 a few days ago and I'm very frustrated. I thought that I'd be pregnant by now. Every part of the cycle tries my patience. I'm either waiting to ovulate or I'm waiting to see if I'm pregnant. I bit the bullet and paid for VIP membership on fertility friend which is what I use to chart. I'm also going to eat pineapple with the core to help with implantation. If this cycle fails then I'm going to become more desperate and buy ovulation predictors. Let's all hope that it doesn't get to that point. I'm also done testing early. I did it with the last two cycles and it's just a waste of money. Thankfully I did only pay $1 per test though. I'm going to add my chart to this post if you would like to stalk it.